"Why can't I have a list if you can have a list?"
"Because I'm special. Everyone knows this."
- On comparing marks on papers, and double standards in grading.

"I'm Jesus, I wear jeans!"

yay for mixed up words lol!

"There are two types of people in the world, those that agree with me, and those that are wrong."

"There are three types of people in the world, those that are good at math, and those who are not."

"There are two types of people in the world, those that believe there are two types of people in the world, and those that know better."

"He's getting a big head..."
"But his brain's the same size."

Putdowns for the win!

"Ugh. I can't get this to look right."
"Well it's better than anything I can draw."
"Oh is it? Well thank you. It really means a lot to me, you know? That someone who stopped drawing within the lifespan of a ferret because their lousy doodles weren't as good as another kid's lousy doodles thinks I'm the better aritst, because that comparison isn't worthless at all.
I mean, why shoot for the stars when I'm already above sea level? Guess I'll just draw a rectangle and sit here for the next hour feeling satisfied."
-Sodium Eyes
http://sodiumeyes.com/2010/01/22/the-expected-response/

AMEN SISTER!

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN

"A backbiter is a backstabber who's misplaced their knife."

"The fun has arri- there's no one in here!"