Zombies!

“I was signing a book and I asked this woman about being a zombie and she said, ‘If I was a zombie I wouldn’t eat human flesh, I’m a vegetarian’. I said, ‘If you were a zombie, you would eat human flesh – you don’t have a choice’. She said, ‘No, with me being a vegetarian is so ingrained’. It got to the point where I actually think I called her an idiot. I said to her, ‘If zombies ate grass, we would tether them to our lawns and have them mow it. Nobody would be afraid of them – it’s not your decision to make. If you’re a zombie, you eat human flesh.’” -David Sedaris

Murdered, the cop had said. But he hadn't said how. Shot? Stabbed? Bludgeoned? Torn apart?
Stop it! Doesn't matter. Dead-that's all that counts. Don't want to be dead. Don't want to be dead.

~Germ by Robert Liparulo