"Destiny! Destiny! No escaping that for me! Destiny! Destiny! No escaping that for me!"

-Fredrick Frankenstien, Young Frankenstien

Jack: "How did it go?"

Sam: "We kick it their asses, Sir."

Jack: "They had asses ??!"

-Stargate SG1

Officer: "Not much faith in plan ´A´ sir?"

O´Neill: "Since when does plan ´A´ ever work?"

-Stargate SG1

(Jack and Maybourne are trapped on a planet together and Jack is fishing).

Harry: "Catch anything yet?"

Jack: "No."

(Harry pulls out a grenade and throws it in. Dead fish start surfacing).

Jack: "That is wrong on so many levels."

-Stargate SG1

O´Neill: "Carter all I heard was ´matrix´ and i found those to be very confusing movies."

-Stargate SG1

Her´ak: "No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of."

O´Neill (exasperated): "You ended that sentence with a preposition! Bastard."

-Stargate SG1

"Who keeps putting half eaten doughnuts back in the box?"

"That isn't half eaten! I ate the other half, which made that half completely eaten, that half isn't eaten at all, making it wholly uneaten."

-Sue Thomas F.B.Eye, Miles and Bobby.

"I thought you stopped eating doughnuts."

"I did. Bad for my cholesterol. But come on people! You only live once! You could get shot tomorrow *pauses* or in my case, yesterday."

"That's a good philosophy."

"I've got cream-filled"

"Works for me!"

-Sue Thomas FB Eye,in order of lines, Lucy, Miles, Sue, Miles, Tara

"The way forward is sometimes the way back."

-Labyrinth

"Dear Dogbert; my parents told me that every time I ask Santa for a gift, an angel will lose its wings. That seems like a fair arrangement to me, but is there any risk the wingless angel would fall on my head and kill me? Sincerely, Brent. Dear Bent; wingless angels generally burn up on reentry. It’s nothing that a little shampoo can’t cure. Sincerely, Dogbert."

-Scott Adams

If you have herpes, copy and paste this onto your forehead. It's only fair.

-RabulaTasa

"Eschew obfuscation. Excessive verbosity is not conducive to comprehension."

-RabulaTasa, Fanfiction.net